You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
