She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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