i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
