i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You can't motorboat a personality
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Randomize
