Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you

(248): View more from Michigan

Gross. gingers suck

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(802): View more from Vermont

good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...

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(540): View more from Virginia

i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!

(804): View more from Virginia

a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.

(804): View more from Virginia

That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.

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(519): View more from Ontario

my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off

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(770): View more from Georgia

He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.

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(619): View more from California

I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.

(619): View more from California

.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.

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(+61): View more from Australia

I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated

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