Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
