pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
