You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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