i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You may now shotgun with the bride
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
