morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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