batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
