In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize