he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
