You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
