I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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