I think my vagina is haunted
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
