I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
