This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
