So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
