She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
