At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
