theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize