She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I party with great urgency now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
