i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
