Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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