I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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