oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
