I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
