What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm sobbing to NWA
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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