I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize