I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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