Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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