Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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