It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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