just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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