hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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