Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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