For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize