trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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