people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize