dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize