i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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