I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
