And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
