i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize