don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
