gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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