I'm pants shitting drunk right now
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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