Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
