What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
