What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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