Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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