I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
