It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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