In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I wish you could order shots online.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I checked into jail on foursquare
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
