i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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