I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
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