this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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