hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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