were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
