You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
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