Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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