just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I wear drunk well.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize